Not a Fop: Defending Polonius

This morning, for some reason, the famous speech from Polonius to his son, Laertes, from Hamlet, was on repeat in my skull. I thought to write about my notion that people misinterpret it. Here's the whole thing, in case it has been awhile for you. Laertes is about to return to college and Polonius, his seemingly foppish father, gives him this parting advice. (By the way, I say "seemingly foppish" because it is hard to have spent a career as the closest advisor to a powerful monarch and to have been a fool). To his son, he says:

Dear Albrecht VI

 

Albrecht Soothspitz (b. 1347)


Three cheers and a canon-blast! Albrecht is back with another exciting batch of wisdom-encrusted confections that are destined to delight and fortify the lost minds of this lost world. Albrecht has spent the past few months earning a PhD in Economics from Wharton Business school. I kid you not. He's that smart. Enjoy, O seekers of wisdom.

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Dear Albrecht:

When you lived in the Middle Ages, how the heck did you entertain yourself? My cable has been out for two days because of the recent storms and I am about to impale myself on a steak-knife. If I didn't have my iPhone, I would be dead by now. I mean, what did you do -- look at trees and stuff? It must have sucked.

Signed,
DE-CABLED

Dear Albrecht: III

Albrecht Soothspitz (b.1327)

Well, Albrecht is back with his latest advice column. The weeks after Christmas were a little busy for him. After getting a Wii under the tree, he has become addicted to Super Mario Brothers. Unfortunately, when he first played, horror forced him to drop the Wii remote and run out the door, screaming in fear of what he called "evil gadget wizardry." It took us three days to find him cowering under the pews in a church a few towns away. Fortunately, he got over his apprehension. Now he responds to emails in-between levels. Slow-going, in so many ways. Nevertheless, installment three: