Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Riptide

One thing this blog has been for me is a kind of therapy. Every writer will tell you that writing is good for him. I once heard a writer ask, "How do I know what I think until I write it down?" I had this feeling all through the early phases of this blog and beyond. There have been quite a few "Hey, how about that?" moments.

Yet, there has been a long gap. The last time I wrote here was in May and before that the pieces started getting scattered.

Why? When I started this blog and was looking around for models, I would see other blogs in which people posted "sorry I have been away for so long" and I would wrinkle my nose. If you are dedicated, I thought, that won't happen.

Alas.

I am not jumping back on here to make excuses, but to observe the tides of life. Or, maybe more accurately, the riptides of life.

One of the things I have always marvelled at is how often I simply forget to do major things. I am not talking about paying bills or taking out the trash. I'm talking about things like eating well and exercising; spending time with my wife; spending time with my kids.

There is always a moment of shock: that moment, for instance, when, after having lost thirty pounds, I realize that I have forgotten to keep on top of eating well and that I have gained ten pounds back. It is never about simply blowing off self-care. It's more about just getting swept away by the riptides of daily and professional life.

And that is where I have been: caught in a riptide. I know that in order to escape a riptide, one must swim parallel to the shore and allow the riptide take one farther out. To swim straight in against it is death. You have to let go the fear of being drawn out deeper into the ocean and trust in the fact that, at some point, you will be able to ride the waves back into shore; or, at least, paddle slowly back in without becoming exhausted and drowning.

I have been in a major riptide.

Since I never saw this blog as a blog about me, even when I am actually talking about me, I won't detail what has been happening. You can insert your own riptide experience in for mine and we can ponder it together.

In some ways, your problem gets worse when you are, as I am, pretty good at appearing as if nothing is wrong. But when is breaks; when the riptide is strongest, it starts pulling in others who are trying to help you. That's when it is worst. That is when something needs to be done.

Hopefully I have done it. Hopefully I won't forget that I kind of need this blog. In a lot of ways, it's my spot on the beach. But there will be a long way to go until the exhaustion passes and breathing gets back to normal.


4 comments:

  1. I'm intrigued now. My current riptide is a relatively trivial one, but it has stopped me blogging for a while.

    I hope you'll be in a better place eventually.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Steerforth. I think the right moves were made. Just a little aftermath to work through. good luck to you, too...hopefully, we will both bloggishly inclined again, soon.

      Delete
  2. I understand that riptide, Chris. I'm in my own at the moment, comprised of a big work project, some local charity work, an injury, continuing to be the homemaker supporting the hardworking teacher in the household...sometimes it's hard to get back to shore. In light of your own riptide, I'm all the more appreciative that you took time to order my latest little folly of a book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oy. I know the feeling. Your book has been much enjoyed and may have contributed in some way to my rethinkings, of late. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to remember what we are really all about and push aside the perceptions people have convinced us to wear like uniforms, however well-meaning those people may have been. Writing what we really feel and enjoy can never be folly.

      Delete