We were watching Neil Simon's The Odd Couple in creative writing class today (playwrighting time) and there is a scene, toward the end of the film, in which the "Pidgeon sisters" come into Oscar's apartment. The guys, who are sitting playing poker, all stand up when the ladies enter.
I stopped the movie.
In an effort to point to the quick decline in manners, I mentioned that the film was made in 1969, a year after I was born, and that, apparently, in some social spheres, men were still standing up when a ladies entered a room.
One of the girls, honestly and openly, raised her hand and asked, "Why did they do that?"
[Sigh.]
How did you respond to her question?
ReplyDeleteI said, "I guess it was because guys used to think girls were something special."
ReplyDelete"Don't they still think that?" she asked.
"Do you?" I said.
She puffed. "Mr. Mat, can't you just ever answer a question?"
"Nope," I said, smiling.
On the side of the young men, no more chances to extend chivalry, while on that of the young women, no more opportunities to feel cherished.
ReplyDeleteMakes me feel sorry for both groups.
Me too, Elsa Louise. Me too.
DeleteI really love the show "Mad Men" and I picked up on that exact action of men standing when a woman both enters and leaves the room or table. Unlike your student though I found myself wondering why it ever stopped. What woman doesn't want to feel special enough to warrant that respect?
ReplyDeleteI guess the onnly way to answer your question is: "A woman who has no idea it ever happened." You;re one of the last who might even remotely remember the tradition, I guess. The tradition seems to be so close to lost, that is took Mad Men to get you thinking about it...
DeleteIn the early '90s, one of my professors--no stuffed shirt, but a largely unrepentant beatnik--complained to me: "All of the young men on this campus, they scurry around in short pants...like children." What kid today will hear gripes like that from their elders, or understand that adults were once expected to be different from children in comportment and dress?
ReplyDeleteMy grandfather rarely left the house without putting on a three-piece suit and a hat. Today's kids are getting a limited and unimaginative sense of adulthood when their elders are bony-legged man-children loping around in cargo shorts and crocs.
All part of a superficial quest for eternal youth, I suppose. Instead of managing to stay young, people are managing to stay adolescent.
DeleteAs with a lot of things, it is a shame. There was a limited window of time during which an adult who did kid-like things was refreshing; alas, now the uncommon is common.
Funny thing about it is, I don't think anyone ever TOLD ME why men did that, the reason was just inferred as I was growing up, watching movies and such. I'm surprised that the student had to ask why...and I'm sure she wasn't the only one. So, not only do they have no sense of respect and manners, but no skill to read between the lines either. Tsk tsk.
ReplyDeleteYup. Sadly, unless they watch older movies, there aren't even many lines for them to read between!
Delete@Living With Curls: I think it stopped because of the feminist movement of the seventies. What with "equality" and all, they argued that men don't stand up for other men entering a room or open a door for men, so whey should they do it for women? I guess they believed that it implied that women were inferior. Silly me, I thought it seemed like respect. And would feel honored if men stood up when I entered a room. Haha. A little weirded out, but a little honored.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could find that great Carol Burnett clip with Jean Stapleton and Harvey Corman -- the one with the door. Remember that?
DeleteI completely agree with you Gina. The tradition wasn't around while I was growing up but I could infer it from TV shows and movies. I'm all about equality for women but is being respected enough for a table of men to stand up when you leave really something that makes us inferior? Personally, I think not (and I would feel honored as well!)
ReplyDeleteIt seems anymore that there's just an overall lack of respect towards each other as human beings. In my opinion we're so busy looking at our phones/tablets/electronic whose-a-ma-whatsit that we're not holding doors for the person behind us or noticing basic facial emotions. It's really scary to see how far we've fallen as a society. As Jeff said we went from generations that would only wear three piece suits (my grandfather did the same) when going out, wanting to put only their best foot forward, to our current status of being content in sweatpants and glued to our technology screens.