Monday, November 18, 2013


Gall dern me and it is that makes me like this.

Every once in awhle, maybe once per week -- sometimes once every few weeks -- I will stop at a Dunkin' Donuts on the way to work. Each time, I pull up to the speaker and order the same thing: a ham, egg and cheese bagel and a medium coffee with cream and sugar.

To my surprise/horror/delight, the guy behind the speaker eventually started recognizing me (I guess they have a camera) and saying, in what I am pretty sure is a slight Lebanese accent:

"Hey, bahddy. Hameggandcheesemediumcoffeeonev'rythingbagel?"

(Don't worry. He never actually puts the coffee on the bagel.)

To which I reply, "You got it! Thanks." Or some variation, thereof. (I actually do try to remember what I said the previous time, so it doesn't become a scripted dialogue. I find is useful to add a "thank you, sir" to the end. Anything to break the repetition. My counterpart behind the speaker never seems concerned about this: "Hey, bahddy. Hameggandcheesemediumcoffeeonev'rythingbagel?" Every time.)

This being-recognized thing, to me, is both cool and weird. It is nice/disturbing to be a "regular" somewhere. I don't know what it says about me that I feel this way. Frankly, I don't care. I am far too upset about what happened...

Things collapsed. The world...just... Well, here's what transpired:

I pulled up at the ordering thingy and my possibly-Lebanese chum spoke: "Hey, bahddy. Hameggandcheesemediumcoffeeonev'rythingbagelhashbrowns?"

It wasn't until I had said, "You got it! Many thanks, O voice of deliciousness" (or something like that) and I was driving to the payment window that I realized he had tacked hashbrowns onto the order. I concluded that I must have been hearing things. But, alas, when I drove around to pay, the woman behind the window greeted me with her usual smile and said, "Good mahrning. Five-feefty-five."

I paused. Five-feefty-five? I looked at the five-eleven in my hand. I was confused. I mumbled a little. Then I realized: The hash browns!

So, what do I do? Do I say, "Oh -- I'm sorry I didn't want hash browns..." No. I dig up more change and pay five-fifty-five. Because, that is me.

The hash browns were tasty. But that is not the point. I purposefully do not order hash browns -- just to shave a few calories off of the already caloric treat. just didn't seem worth it to make an issue of it. Surely, no harm could be done. The world would right itself next time.

A week later, I went back: "Hey, bahddy. Hameggandcheesemediumcoffeeonev'rythingbagelhashbrowns?"

Hash browns? But... " it...thanks?"


The next three times? "Hameggandcheesemediumcoffeeonev'rythingbagelhashbrowns?"


Easy to correct, right? Just...tell the guy. But, isn't telling him basically the same as calling him out on either 1) purposefully and forcefully "selling-up" my order or 2) messing up with a customer he is supposed to know?

It's complicated, damn it.

I think maybe I should just find another Dunkin' Donuts.

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