Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Pre-Nups Make the Impossible Impossible

I guess a lot depends on what you think marriage is.

There are a lot of highly educated people out there who will smile a wry smile and tell me that marriage has, historically, been all sorts of things, not the least of which is a business arrangement. I do understand that, just so everyone knows.

But it is hard to refute the fact that, in Western culture as well as in some others. marriage has come to be known as a commitment born out of love; a promise of eternal fidelity and loyalty. A "till-death-do-we-part" kind of a thing.

Even though people seem to be treating it, of late, as a kind of not-really commitment, the general principal; the poetic vows; the expensive clothes and copious flowers adorning alters and daises seem to belie the fact that we still think, at least by definition, marriage is supposed to be a profound commitment.

If it were not so, why would the gay community, at present, be fighting so hard for recognition in the area. Business? Tax breaks? Partially. But most would argue there is more to it.

Just today, though, I was sucked in, as I usually am, to one of those listy sites that shows us stuff we didn't know about celebrities. This one was about pre-nuptial agreements.

I have to weigh in. I don't care if you are are a billionaire (or a thousandaire, like myself). A pre-nuptial agreement is an invalidation of the marriage vows. A pre nuptial agreement the "just kidding" below the last l uttered promise at any ceremony.

You can come at me, if you want, with a million practical reasons why pre-nups are a sound idea. It won't work.

Marriage vows are a promise to do the impossible: to put up with and to love another human being no matter how annoying he or she becomes; no matter how much rain falls on the marriage fire; no matter how wrinkly ye shall both become. It is an impossible promise that people all throughout civilized time have kept until the final curtain drops.

To even admit the possibility of mistrust or failure in the form of a pre-nup is to make the impossible impossible.

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