Friday, August 14, 2015

Is It Still Okay to Prefer?

Is saying what you prefer the same as saying that the things you don't prefer are wrong? I never thought so, but everyone else seems to think so.

Saying what you prefer is not necessarily a value judgment. We live, however, in a world that is just waiting to judge and that immediately dismiss anyone with an opinion that does not fit the groupthink positions that it attempts to force everyone into. The result is that people don't say what they think -- or even what they prefer for fear of a figurative mob lynching.

For instance, I do not prefer women who are "tough" in the traditionally masculine sense. I prefer more traditionally feminine women. There are some who would love to label me a sexist for this and there are others who would try to gently explain to me that I just don't really understand how I am contributing to a social structure that is designed to keep women subordinate. While I appreciate their attempts at educating the ignorant, white, middle-aged male that I am, I respectfully submit that they should pack up their radio talk-show acquired bag of sociological observations and beat it.

As a heterosexual man, I find no attraction to, say a Ronda Rousey. She is a beautiful woman, but I do not prefer women who beat up people. This ability she has is, athletically, impressive, but it is not a quality I prefer in a woman. Her profession and hearing her talk about beating up her opponents are enough to destroy any chance of my having been attracted to her. (Like she cares.)

Notice that I have not once said that it's not okay for her to fight or for women to act any way they see fit. While I don't have a right to condemn or stop their behavior, I have every right not to prefer it.

There are lot of other preferences I have that would serve to illustrate my point, but the one above popped into my head after having seen a video of Rousey talking trash about an opponent in between montages of her posing in bikini.

And, you know what? I think, even in the traditional sense, that women are and always have been every bit as "tough" as men. That doesn't mean we all have to be "tough" in the same way. I prefer for men and women to be different -- equal but different. This is not the same as asserting that the world is getting it wrong; just that it is getting it the way I don't like it to be.

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